Thursday, August 9, 2007

Adams Morgan: Violence and the Tyranny of Parenthood

The recent article in the City Paper about Late Night Shots got me to thinking about Adams Morgan. The article quoted an on-line thread that went like this:


"If I have said it once I have said it 1000 times. DO NOT EVER, EVER even go near Adams Morgan. That place is Ghetto.

Adams Morgan is only do-able if you limit yourself to a few bars that are close together.

Every minute you spend outside of an actual bar your life is in danger. And do not, DO NOT attempt to get a late-night slice of pizza unless you are a pro.

Any by pro I mean ready to fight people.

Everytime I’m in Adams Morgan, I take on at least 3-4 Ethiopans. Skinny little bastards are feisty."


Obviously, this guy is an unsophisticated, narrow-minded, frightened pubescent (even if he is in his 20s and gainfully employed) with little life experience and little hope of gaining any. But at least he’s honest. He doesn’t want to go to Adams Morgan, and I, for one, don’t want him there.

But there are other, darker forces at work in Adams Morgan: parents.

As part of DC governments on-going crusade to ruin the city, it has decided to enforce a law regarding tavern licenses versus restaurant licenses. Without going into detail, many places on 18th Street have restaurant licenses but don’t meet the food sales standard to maintain that license and should properly have tavern licenses. Except the city has now put a moratorium on issuing new tavern licenses until it drives a bunch of bars out of business by revoking their restaurant licenses.

Why?

Because some people moved to Adams Morgan, had children, and now can’t believe they are living in Adams Morgan with children.

A couple local news stations interviewed some stroller pushing moms on 18th Street, and that the basic message I got from them.

What these mothers on the street were really worried about was violence. Apparently, they take their toddlers to clubs at 3 am, or line up for pizza at 4:00 am, babe-in-arms, and then pick fights with drunken revelers over, what, a girl? Posh’s new hair color? A timetable for leaving Iraq? And end up getting stabbed and bleeding to death in the middle of the street at the feet of a police horse while their babies watch. Happens all the time.

Come on! Does the extremely limited and extremely rare violence on 18th Street at 3 am on a Sunday morning really effect your life so much that you need to start a crusade to ruin the neighborhood for everyone else? You knew what Adams Morgan was like when you moved here, and unless you do indeed take your kiddy out for a stroll at 3:00 am (and NOT EVENT THEN!), you won’t get stabbed or shot or anything else.

Please move to Reston. I hear they have a pretty good Don Pablos there.

2 comments:

mysterygirl! said...

Yes, this blows my mind, and I agree with your position. I find Adams Morgan to be very safe during the day and no more dangerous than any other part of the city during the night. In fact, I can name many parts of the city that are far, far worse. I guess that those comments say a lot more about the speaker than they do about Adams Morgan itself.

Anonymous said...

And so, PortableSnack, because you were a slacker, and because I visited your site daily until about the 20th day of lack of posting, I missed the past few days of fresh new goodness (well, that first one back from hiatus is questionable, and thanks for getting the dadadada dah – dahda dah – dah dadada dah-dah… stuck in my head)! But I'm glad to see you're alive and well and my reminder worked! Yay!