Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The Great Mailbox Conspiracy on U Street

Now that I’m back from my travels, I suddenly realized that something terrible has happened in DC while I was gone: someone has stolen all the mail boxes. Or they all got sick of standing around being blue and just took off.

I had a very important letter to mail (or “screed”, as editors and the judiciary all across the land have called them in their “restraining orders”), and I walked all around the neighborhood, down New Hampshire and up 17th, and down 18th and around U Street, and not a mail box was to be found!

I suspect they are congregating somewhere near the river, perhaps in one of the Potomac Parks, maybe near where The Awakening will soon be torn from the ground, saying their good-byes.

Or maybe they are tired of being Borfed, and are staging a mail-in (or squat-in, or sit-there-in, or whatever mail boxes do) at the USPS headquarters building (it’s that big blue rounded-top building in Southwest that always makes me think of grandma - you know the one).

In any case, there are no mail boxes near Coladams Circle, and my screeds are piling up, and we are in danger of suffocation by screed, necessitating more writing of screeds, with no way of emancipating said screeds. Thus the provenance of this blog entry.


Alejandra said...

That's a rather amusing problem... Have you called the Post Office to find out what they've done with them?

Daniel said...

Have you used them lately? The USPS posted notices on a bunch of PO Boxes in VA recently that they were removing a whole mess of them to "simplify their collection" (aka... to cut down their costs). Then a few weeks later they swooped them off the street. Its getting to be a pain to send mail nowadays (which will probably further complicate their budgetary crisis).

Anonymous said...


They did that in my old neighboorhood in Jersey City last year. Man did the residents have a fit. The Post Office in my old neighborhood was so inept that they didn't even leave notice. Finally someone realized they should let the people living on the street know and the cat was outta the bag at that point (not literally-that could be dangerous), so they returned it. Your US Post Office...working hard to deliver poor service for since 1789.